Yesterday Alyssa and I went to New Beginnings at nine o'clock in the morning. Alyssa and Nellie were the only girls there that will be going into Young Women's this year, because Ashley was out of town. It was so fun, and Alyssa ate it all up. They had one of the leaders speak about coming closer to Christ, they had the Bishop speak for a few minutes, and they explained what the Young Women program is all about. Then we broke up into two groups, and one group made magnet boards and magnets, and the other group passed off a Personal Progress goal about Moroni's Stripling Warriors and about the role of a strong, righteous mother.
While talking about these young warriors, one of the mothers noted that the reason the boys weren't harmed was because they listened to the Spirit. I had never thought about it the way she explained it, but it makes perfect sense. If the Spirit whispered, "Hit left!" or "Duck right!" these boys didn't hesitate to follow. In fact, the scriptures say that they followed each command with exactness, and I think that means they followed the commands of both their military leaders and the Holy Ghost. We talked about how we need to listen to the Holy Ghost without hesitation in our lives, because we are fighting a lifelong battle with Satan.
That afternoon Alyssa complained to me that the Not Rated movies on Netflix were blocked on their account. She wanted to watch "Shrek: the Musical." I explained to her that some things are listed as NR, because there's nothing wrong with them, and they're kind of in a different category from other movies, so there's no reason to rate them, and some things are NR, because they are so bad that they don't even deserve a rating. I told her that we have the NR movies turned off, along with R and PG13, because if it's not appropriate for kids to watch, then it's really not appropriate for anyone to watch. (Disclaimer: We do watch PG13 movies. We're just selective in the ones we watch, because we all know the rating system is pretty wacked.)
Fast forward just a tiny bit, and I was upstairs on my phone, and I wanted to watch a scary movie. I love scary movies, but barely watch them now that I'm a mom and have kids to protect. They just scare me that much more now. I don't have the NR movies blocked from my Netflix account, so I saw a scary movie that looked interesting that wasn't rated. I thought, "Well, scary movies are always rated bad, because they're scary." That was Rationalization #1.
I didn't have a lot of time available, anyway, because we were headed to a friends' house soon, so I decided I would just "skim" through the movie. I'd watch a couple minutes, push it forward a bit, watch a bit more, and so on. Halfway through the movie I scrolled to a part where - and this is the part I would never say in sacrament meeting - the girl is alive and looks like she's about to die, and I thought, "It's the middle of the movie. Surely someone or something will save her. I'll watch this part." (Rationalization #2. I should have just turned it off! Did I listen to the Holy Ghost? NO!)
Long story short, nothing saved her. I waited for it. I waited for the power to be out, or for someone to walk in at just the right moment, or for the whole thing to be broken, but nope - she died big time, and it is burned into my brain.
That's when I just pushed the scolly thing along with my finger, looking at the still frames, because I needed to know the end. Turns out, he's caught in the end and gets done in by a cop. I felt better about that, but I still felt sick to my stomach, not just by what I had seen, but for the fact that I deliberately ignored the Holy Ghost AND my own council from just a few hours before. How stupid was that?
Brian was laying in bed, reading beside me, so I snuggled up to him, and told him about it. I still felt sick. Just before we were leaving to our friends' house, I remembered an article from the Friend magazine about a boy who saw something on TV that he shouldn't have seen and couldn't get it out of his mind. He went to talk with his parents, and he prayed. So before we got in the car, I knelt by our bed and prayed. I told Heavenly Father how wrong I had been, I apologized for ignoring the Spirit and doing something that I knew was wrong, and little by little, I'm moving on from what I saw by filling my life with good things.
On the note of good things, Singing Time was awesome today. We started to learn, "I Stand All Amazed," and we did fun movements to certain parts of the song. If a word was highlighted in purple, we would stand. Orange, we would hit our knees. There was a whole sentence in red, and we did the wave. We were moving for the whole thing, and it was so much fun. I love my calling!
In other news:
We'll sum up the second half of February.
|I can't remember where Alyssa was that night, but I know it was somewhere fun.|
2. For our anniversary Brian and I tried to go to the trampoline park, but it was so crowded that we didn't even attempt going in. We then tried to go ice skating, but there was a kids hockey game going on. We talked about other fun and active things we could do, but there's not that much available in the winter, so we decided to go straight to dinner. Texas Roadhouse had an hour long wait, so we got on the list, then headed to Costco to pick up some movie tickets. Our plan was to have dinner, then stop by at home to pick up the kids to take them to the Lego movie, but we ate so much that all we wanted to do when we got home was just be home. We ended up taking the kids out the next week, and that was fun.
Even though we really didn't do anything, it was nice being out together, and we had fun talking without interruptions. We've been talking lately about wanting to travel together, so a lot of our conversation was about where we want to go and when it might possibly be.
3. The next Saturday I ran the Richland Runfest Half Marathon. It was so great! It was the first half marathon I've run without getting off track and trying to run the whole thing by accident. The weather was perfect. It started off cold, but warmed up just enough to take the iciness away, but to also keep you cool while running. The first ten miles were so much fun. I listened to a book that I've listened to before, because I wanted to know that it would keep my attention, and I just ran along with everyone else, thinking about how wonderful it all was, and how much I loved running, and how I should run thirteen miles every day 'cause it's just so fun...
When I hit eight miles, for some reason, I subtracted eight from twelve instead of thirteen, so I texted Brian, "4 to go." When I hit nine miles I texted, "3." Then I hit ten miles and realized - duh! - I still had three to go, so I texted, "Oops. 3." My mom called soon after, telling me that she and my dad were at the finish line. She wanted to make sure they hadn't missed my brother and I. They shouldn't have worried; we're not that fast. So I thought I had hit ten miles a few minutes ago, and that I was nearing two and a half left, but after I got off the phone, my running app said, "ten miles," and I thought, "I still have three two go?"
Needless to say, the last three miles were tough. It didn't help that I hadn't trained very well, and the longest run I did this winter was only ten miles long. But the main reason I signed up for the race was just to keep me running during the winter, and I did, so it served its purpose. I kept pushing on. My brother was quite a ways ahead of me, I think about twenty minutes. I came in at two hours, twenty-three minutes and two seconds. My sister, Kim, and my niece and nephews, Kenna, Asher, and Brennan, were waiting on the side a little way before the finish line, so they ran through the grass of Howard Amon Park along side me. Mom and Dad were waiting close to the finish line, and my mom was hollering my name and saying, "Good job!" and stuff like that. It was a great finish.
About an hour after the race there were moments where I did not feel very well. I met Brian and the kids at his parents house, and we hung out there for a bit. I felt sick a couple times, but only for a few seconds. When we got home, I still hadn't eaten anything, and I think that was contributing to it all. I took a quick shower. I didn't even shampoo or anything, just rinsed off, wrapped in a towel, and lay in bed. I texted Brian, "I need to eat. Chips in the pantry please." Apparently, we text all the time, or maybe just when I'm running. He was nice enough to bring me up a bag of chips, and the saltiness actually helped a lot. After that I felt pretty good, just stiff and sore for a couple of days. Overall, it was very fun, and I'm looking forward to the next one.
I think training has a huge impact on performance, because when I ran my first half marathon, I held up pretty well physically, and even ended up running/walking about eighteen miles. Then I drove forty-five minutes home, stood all day for Tombstone Tales, and was barely even sore. I never felt sick after the first race. Looks like I'll have to prepare for the next one a little better.
4. Ethan had his first Pinewood Derby, and I didn't get any pictures, because I was at ballet with Alyssa. The plan was to join everyone else at the church when her class was over, but we passed Brian coming out of the church parking lot on our way in, so we missed the whole thing. Ethan had so much fun, and he kept talking about how he won so many races. Apparently he did very well, and almost got third place. Pretty good for designing it himself and finishing it up just hours before the event. I'll make sure to get a picture of him with his car. He is loving Scouts, and I love that he loves it.